Saturday, 30 June 2007

Chapter 12 Nimbin

"I watched the needle take another man."
Neil Young
(The Needle and the Damage Done)

April 1994

After the break up with Michelle, I had found another reason to use heroin. No longer was it simple experimentation rather it was the powerful mind numbing effect that I craved. When Michelle left me it felt like I had lost part of myself, and the only way I felt that I could deal with this was to use heroin. But this was just bullshit because I needed an excuse, some sort of justification for my fucked up actions and this seemed like a pretty good excuse.

We kept seeing each other briefly every few weeks or months opening the festering wound that was our relationship. One day I bumped into Michelle in the city and we spent the afternoon together, and had sex in the bush at Mt Cootha. I had a great time kissing, fondling, and fucking her under the stars I didn’t want it to end. As we parted she told me, that we could never see each other again, the words, shattered my mood and set off a cycle of fear, anxiety and pain. I relived all the horror of the original break up again it was like listening to a CD of Lennard Cohen and Nick Cave duets on stuck on endless repeat, ohh the humanity.

Every time I saw her I had this faint hope that we might get back together. And every time that it didn’t happen I felt heart broken again. When ever I got depressed about this situation I would seek the warm embrace of heroin. Today Nimbin was on the agenda. I think I wanted something to feel bad about just that I would have a reason to use.

It had been a week since I had ODed and went to the hospital.

As I pulled into the sleepy little town, I saw the copper’s four-wheel drive coming towards me. It was just my luck, I was driving an unregistered vehicle and there were warrants out for my arrest. They were only for unpaid traffic fines but still I didn’t want to have to spend a week in gaol and miss out on my taste.

I pulled over onto the soft edge of the road. As I did so I watched as the copper’s car slowed, did a u-turn and came back my way. While this was happening I stashed my wallet down the front of my pants.

The Nissan four- wheel drive came to a halt. It was a cool morning and we stood in the shade of some trees.

“Good morning sir, I notice that you don’t have a current rego sticker, “the young copper said.

“Its not my car mate, it belongs to a mate of mine Dave, I just borrowed it for the day, didn’t realise it wasn’t registered.”

“Ah ha, you say it’s not your car, ok, so what’s your name?”

I tried to think of a fake name, “ah …. John Connors.” I had been watching Terminator 2 last night.

“Your address John?”

“22 Bunyip Lane Wilston Brisbane”

“and the full name of the owner of the car”

“Dave Hawkins “

“Can I see your license John? “

“Nah I left my wallet at home”

“I‘ll have to search you sir”

The copper patted me lightly on the body, avoiding my groin where my wallet was stashed. He found nothing.

“Can you please open the car; I’ll need to search it”

The cop rummaged through the car, opened the ash tray and pulled out a small bag of pot. “This yours” . I nodded

The copper tipped the bag upside down and emptied the contents onto the ground. He did this without hesitating or acting as if this was unusual. In a town like Nimbin pot was everywhere, and mostly the cops turned a blind eye. They didn’t worry about small amounts, it was the smack dealers and blokes who sold the pounds of pot they chased.

“Stay away from this shit mate. OK, now I’ll have to radio in to check your details.”

The copper went back to his car and turned on the CB radio.

While I did this I felt the tension building inside of me. If they figured out I was bullshitting I was busted and that meant I would miss out on my hit today.

“Base, this is unit 34, need to confirm some license details and rego details. Can you check on a Queensland license for John Connors of 22 Bunyip Lane Wilston and the rego details on a green Mazda 323 license 345 EWB.”

He waited for a minute, “Roger Base out”

“John, couldn’t find your details but confirmed the car is registered to a Dave Hawkins, how long have you had your license?”

“I just got it”

“That must be the reason why you’re not on the system. Oh, anyway I ‘m going to have to fine you for driving an unregistered vehicle. “ The copper was rather blasé and didn’t seem to care. He proceeded to fill out the infringement notice and handed it to me.

“You will have to leave the car here mate.”

“Ok.” I replied, and thought to myself, yeah like hell mate.

We parted company.

As the cop drove off I counted my blessings. That was close, now I was really hanging for a hit.

I walked up the street to the park across the road from the pub where I would usually find someone to score from. As I approached I could see Jamie sitting under a tree. Jamie was about 35, but looked 55. He had long hair, a sparse beard and the rotten teeth common to junkies. He wore old stubbies a t shirt and thongs. He lived in a tent at the edge of town.

I had scored from him before. Jamie was on the methadone program.

“Hey Jamie, how you doin dude”

“OK man, watch yah up to”

“Lookin to score”

“Ganja”

“No harry man”

“Oh ok, bit the old horse, hey. Jus hang here for a sec while I see wot I can do”

I planted my arse on the grass and sat back to survey the scene. It was a sight. The park was dotted with a variety of social misfits and oddities. In the centre of the park stood an array of modern sculptures, some still under construction. Small groups of people sat drinking casks of wine or stubbies and smoking cigarettes. A few mangy kids chased each other round the park while their parents chatted.

Young locals waited for tourists to wander into town chasing what Nimbin was famous for, drugs, specifically pot. After checking you out to see if you looked like a prospective customer, they would casually ask you if you wanted some good buds.

Jamie sauntered back into view, he walked listing to one side, like a battleship that had taken a few too many hits, but in his case it was a few too many hits of heroin. “Yeah, man I can score you some shit, how about giving me a few bucks for lookin afta ya. “

“Yeah no worries man, here take 10 bucks”

“Hey ya don’t have any durries on ya, do ya?”

“Yeah, grab a couple”, I said as I offered the packet to Jamie.

“Now, how much do ya want, quarts are $140 or I can get ya a fitty?”

“Make it a quart hey” I handed him the cash.

“Give me five minutes”, Jamie said as he wandered up the street.

I saw him walk to the other end of the main street and sit down next to a woman. They chatted for a moment, Jamie passed her the money and she gave him the shit.

By this time my heart was pumping as the excitement was building.

“Here ya go,” Jamie handed him a small piece of paper wrapped into a triangle shape.

“Cheers man”

I now tried to contain myself, as I skipped down the road to my car. I had to drive; there was no public transport in Nimbin.

I just hoped that I would get out of town before the cop noticed me. But as my luck would have it, the cop was driving past in the opposite direction as I was driving out of town.

The cop saw me, flashed his lights and slowly turned to pursue. There was a distinct lack of urgency in the policeman’s actions.

“Oh fuck,” I shouted out loud. Then thought, this bastard is not going to stop me from having my shot, and with that I planted my foot to the floor. The little Mazda lurched into action.

I had a head start on the cop, and luckily for me, the cop was driving one of the four wheel drives which were not as fast as the normal cop sedans, besides the fact that the cop obviously didn’t give a shit.

About 2 kms out of town I took a side road, and hoped that I had lost my pursuer. Not willing to wait and see I took another side road that went off the bitumen and onto a dirt track. After driving for a few minutes the road came to an end.

My heart still racing I turned the car around and left the engine running. Fumbling through my bag to find my fit pack, I grabbed the orange container tipped out the contents and began to hurriedly mix up for a shot.

Nervous hands scraped some of the precious white powder into the spoon. I mixed in the water, sucked it into the syringe and drove it into my arm.

The warm glow, settled my nerves, but I was still freaked out.

I drove back out along the dirt road all the while worried that the copper would appear at the next bend and have me cornered.

But as I drove on it seemed that I had escaped. I continued on my way home sticking to the back roads. To celebrate my escape I decided to have another blast so I pulled the car over to the side of the road, mixed up another shot and proceeded to inject it. Waiting for a moment I felt the rush and then decided that for safety sake I had better keep moving lest the cop catch up with me.

Off I drove. As the car travelled down the road I felt my head become light, and my stomach getting ready to puke. A light touch on the break, I opened the door and spewed while the car slowly rolled forward. Pressing the accelerator I continued with my journey approaching a corner in the road, and just as the car came to the bend, darkness enveloped me and I blacked out.

A bright all encompassing light draws me forward…………………………..






Friday, 29 June 2007

Chapter 11 - Hospital Take 2


``A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.''

Samuel Butler


They say before you die your life flashes before your eyes, well it seemed as though I had just had a brief recap of my life, again.

When I woke up I was in a hospital ward. The last thing I remembered was getting the smack filled red balloon from Lee and shooting up in the toilets. I wondered if like Neo, I had made the right choice. Waking up in the hospital, having lunch chatting about Adolf, going outside and then just an incredibly hot bright light………………

I could hear the chorus to Jethro Tull’s “Skating away on the thin ice of a new day”, but it was an instrumental cover version.

Bright fluorescent lights greeted me. I felt groggy there was a drip in my arm and they had taken my shirt off. Sitting up I felt disorientated but hungry. A nurse was serving lunch and so I requested a vegetarian meal. The nurse smiled and brought me a salad sandwich, which I quickly gobbled up.

I wondered how I had got there, I could see that I was in a hospital but had no recollection of travelling there, more lost time. Maybe I had been abducted again, or was it just another OD.

I lent over to turn on the radio and the first thing I heard was, “you know maybe a chicken is an eggs way of making another egg. You know you don’t have to do it………………… “

Thursday, 28 June 2007

Chapter 10 - Re-spawn 3


“Socrates' response is to develop his theory of anamnesis. He suggests that the soul is immortal, being repeatedly incarnated; knowledge is actually in the soul from eternity (86b), but each time the soul is incarnated its knowledge is forgotten in the shock of birth. What we think of as learning, then is actually the bringing back of what we'd forgotten. (Once it has been brought back it is true belief, to be turned into genuine knowledge by understanding.) And thus Socrates (and Plato) sees himself, not as a teacher, but as a midwife, aiding with the birth of knowledge that was already there in the student.”

Unknown Author



“What the hell was that all about?. You have some strange fantasies mate, I mean Osama Bin Laden, please, what a joke, everyone knows he was a creation of the Americans, they trained him and set him up to do his thing. So the yanks would have an excuse to invade the middle east and secure their oil supplies, terrorism, that was all just a sham, to fool the people, there never were any terrorists, the government did it, no one is ever going to buy this plot mate, I suggest that you start again. So you wanna restart the hospital section again?, you know we will have to do a memory induction again.."

“Yeah cool lets do that.."

“OK Bon voyage!”

“Sleep well Dave, sweet dreams……” Ignatius flicked the switch and Dave was whisked away to a new world, just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.







BlogsByCategory.com

Tuesday, 26 June 2007

Chapter 9 - Waking Up from a Bad sleep


“The Talmud teaches:

Just before a baby is born,

an angel shows it everything there is to know

and learn

on Earth.

Then at the moment of birth,

the angel touches the infant’s upper lip,

and the child forgets everything.

We spend the rest of our lives

remembering

what the angel showed us.

This is a generic guide

to the meaning of life.

It does not describe one view

of the meaning of life

and recommend you adopt it.

It helps you remember

what the angel showed you.

The angel showed you

the meaning of life.

In case you have not remembered yet,

here is what the angel showed you.”

William Blank

April 20 2000

They say before you die your life flashes before your eyes, well it seemed as though I had just had a brief recap of my life, again.

When I woke up I was in a hospital ward. The last thing I remembered was getting the smack filled red balloon from Lee and shooting up in the toilets. I wondered if like Neo, I had made the right choice.

I could hear the chorus to Jethro Tull’s “Skating away on the thin ice of a new day”.

Bright fluorescent lights greeted me. I felt groggy there was a drip in my arm and they had taken my shirt off. Sitting up I felt disorientated but hungry. A nurse was serving lunch and so I requested a vegetarian meal. The nurse smiled and brought me a salad sandwich, which I quickly gobbled up.

I wondered how I had got there, I could see that I was in a hospital but had no recollection of travelling there, more lost time. Maybe I had been abducted again, or was it just another OD.

People often asked me why I was a vegetarian. I wasn’t raised that way, I had enjoyed my meat. In the years leading up to my conversion I had a few different experiences. I had eaten meat for 24 years, I have never liked eating meat that was grissly or tough, or had blood or other signs of life. When eating my mince I would often think about where it came from.

Aside from the philosophical, environmental and spiritual reasons for being vegetarian I was having major problems with stomach ulcers and constipation. As soon as I stopped eating meat these problems disappeared. This makes sense because meat requires a very high level of acidity to digest and meat has no fibre and can therefore exacerbate constipation. Furthermore, you can get all the nutrients you need from a vegetarian diet.

So I believed that eating meat was unnecessary for humans. The nurse who brought my lunch came back and said, “So why are you a vegetarian Dave?”

“Well there is no need to eat meat, we can get all the things we need from a vego diet………. People have the long intestines and teeth of herbivores, while carnivores have short intestines to expel the flesh that quickly begins to putrefy once consumed. When meat is eaten by humans it stays caught in the folds of the intestine to rot and putrefy, and this is major factor in conditions like bowel cancer“

“You sure about that man?”, the nurse looked doubtful.

“Not only is it unhealthy to consume flesh but its brutal to raise mammals that are sentient beings to be callously slaughtered. Furthermore eating meat is environmentally damaging, in order to breed more cows countless millions of hectares of rainforest, the lungs of the earth are cleared, to make way for cows who produce methane one of the major greenhouse gasses. Depending on the type of animal it takes between 10kg and 20kg of feed to produce 1kg of meat, therefore reducing the amount of grain available for human consumption and exacerbating malnutrition in third world countries. Furthermore, producing meat consumes massive amounts of water when compared to the amount of water required to produce a vegetarian diet. For example 50% of U.S. water consumption goes to livestock production, and check these quotes out......"


“Cow farms, for example, produce millions of tons of carbon dioxide and methane per year, two major greenhouse gases which together account for over 90% of US greenhouse emissions, significantly contributing to global scorching (what is euphemistically called global warming). Global warming is already having grave effects on our planet.”

“Every year, about 125,000 square miles (325,000 sq. km) of rain forest (along with the more than 1,000 plant and animal species that live there) are lost (or become extinct). More than half of that land is now used for grazing cattle. An estimated 80% of annual world deforestation is related to animal agriculture.”

http://www.brook.com/veg

"Sounds pretty convincing but I dont know, I really like my burgers...", the nurse shifted his weight onto his left leg and put his hand on his hip.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong I’m not a preacher, though I might sound like one, I mean I used to eat heaps of meat all the time, but I had some bowel and stomach problems, combined with my exposure to Greenpeace, meditation and travelling through India lead me to change my mind. Never looked back since. “

“I believe that people will look back on this time and see the meat industry for what it is an animal holocaust, but on a much grander scale than that perpetrated against the jews.”

“There have been some great vegetarians in history Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Leo Tolstoy, Paul McCartney, Pythagoras, Sir Isaac Newton, and lets not forget Weird Al Yakovic, and oh yeah Rastafarians are vego too.”

“Truly man is the king of beasts, for his brutality exceeds theirs. We live by the death of others: We are burial places! “

Leonardo da Vinci's '

“Wasn’t Adolf Hitler a vegetarian?”, the nurse had this got you now look on his face.

“Yes he was, but you know there are always exceptions to the rule.”

“As long as Man continues to be the ruthless destroyer of lower living beings he will never know health or peace. For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain cannot reap joy and love." [4]

Pythagoras

“I had a copy of Mein Kampf was on my bookshelf. I had tried to read the whole thing a few times but the his writing style made it tough going. I would occasionally pick it up and read a few paragraphs, but there is no doubt he was a crazy mother fucker “, the nurse confessed.

“I was fascinated by the enigma of Hitler and felt that some of his ideas were spot on. Vegetarianism, art appreciation, environmentalism and to me he was also a powerful father figure, a role that was conspicuously absent from my life. Although he was a rather strict and somewhat unforgiving dad………… “, as he spoke his eyes shifted up and to the right as he recalled the many films and books he had read on the subject while working night shift in the morgue.

“I often thought how so many people had misunderstood Hitler. “

“What the fuck are you talking about?”, I said.

“Hey they say that Hitler was a frustrated artist but he wasn’t frustrated at all, man. He was expressing the full glory of his artistic passion through ‘Blitz Krieg’! He was the greatest performance artist ever! I mean he had his shortcomings there is no doubt about that he killed lots of people which was obviously fucked up, but you know nothing is totally good, and nothing is totally bad, we need to be aware of this, The man was a fuckin genius, albeit a severely disturbed one.”

"But if we just suspend our moral judgements for a moment and think about it World War II was performance art on a grand scale. The Germans did it in style; great uniforms (designed by Hugo Boss), slogans, flags, speeches, stylish cars (BMW, Mercedes). The awesome weapons and technology, all driven by the rabid fanaticism of the population, stirred up by the master agitator Hitler, " he moved his arms to simulate marching in a goose step as he reveled in his favourite topic.

“ National Socialism wasn’t a political movement it was an artistic one, its just that they were very organized and aggressive in pursuit of their artistic ideal. The whole thing with the final solution was about removing undesirable elements from the canvas that was Germany “

“Nazi theory indeed specifically denies that such a thing as "the truth" exists. […] The implied objective of this line of thought is a nightmare world in which the Leader, or some ruling clique, controls not only the future but THE PAST. If the Leader says of such and such an event, "It never happened"—well, it never happened. If he says that two and two are five—well, two and two are five. This prospect frightens me much more than bombs […] “

George Orwell

Nazi’s and the postmodernists in a pact to take over the world.

“Man you are so full of fuckin shit, the guy was a fuckin psycho who caused the deaths of millions of people, jeezus Christ dude cant you fuckin see that?”

“How the fuck do we really know what he did. I mean history is always written by the victor and of course they always distort it.”

“Oh great, now we’re onto your conspiracy theory bullshit hey!”

“No not so quickly my friend, you cant just write it off as a conspiracy theory, I mean what the fuck does that mean anyway, I mean anytime two people get together to plan some thing they are conspiring, right I mean that’s what the fuckin stupid word means aint it? But just as an example, Hitler Time man of the year 1938, the British Friekorps, and the traditional salute of the American people”

“Got mit uns” or “In god we trust”

“The whole spectacle of combat, the surreal beauty of the destruction set to symphonies of screaming Stukas and roaring Panzers.” I was bemused. “How could anyone not see that it was a master at work, the greatest art installation ever?”

“But was the Reich destroyed or had it simply morphed into the new world order. The Americans had claimed the spear of destiny and with it they unleashed a power never before seen on earth. “

“There was this Taiwanese advertising agency that created a campaign using the slogan, “Declare war on the cold front” alongside a picture of a smiling Adolph Hitler arm raised in a Nazi salute to advertise a German made heater.

“He was the Time magazine man of the year in 1938”

“Bullshit”

“No man, its fuckin true, just look it up mate.”

“The Roman salute with a closed finger, flat palm down hand raised 45 degree angle was the civilian salute of the USA from 1787 – 1934 or there abouts and they changed to the hand over heart with rise of Nazis.”

“Its like using Pol Pot to promote Cambodia. But its interesting how other cultures view things. “

”Hitler viewed himself first and foremost as an artist, his activities were largely directed to the promotion of the arts”
Frederic Spotts

Albert Speer also made the observation that Hitler always thought of himself as an artist first. Hitler created his own Virtual Reality called National Socialism. such as the His vision of the Aryan super-state was expressed both in art and politics. Utilizing superior marketing and the power of iconographyswastika, the Nuremburg rallies and SS uniforms designed by Hugo Boss. “

“What the fuck you talking bout, Willis, Hugo fuckin Boss, whats he got to do with it?”

“Boss founded his family-owned garment business in 1923. The company struggled for a time, fell into bankruptcy, and then, during the war, made the uniforms worn by the German SS, storm troopers, Wehrmacht and Hitler Youth. It's likely that the factory was manned by forced labor including concentration camp prisoners and prisoners of war.”

Nazism was the modern equivalent of ‘Back Yard Blitzkreig’. Funny that the creators of this gardening show chose the word blitz, you see they knew that Hitler was really an artist. They aimed to remodel the world according to their own specific aesthetics and Blitzkrieg, from the (A person of German nationality) German for "lightning war", was a tool to achieve this ends.

“Hitler was a performance artist. His artistic tools were hypnotic oratory, moving spectacle, elegant design and the fine art of genocide”

"I think [Hitler] saw the Nazi movement as an art movement, and I'm not the first or only person to say this, can you imagine Tony Blair redesigning the political theatre of England? Only an artist would do that."

Meyjes

“All racism, on some level, is aesthetic, as a projection of "the ugly." Hitler's "taste," according to Ms. Rothschild, was a key factor that motivated his actions to eliminate the Jews, whose physical appearance offended his aesthetic preferences.

“Many people seem to suggest that Hitler was a "failed artist." He was masterly, first as an orator and then as an all-around impresario of political theatre.Hitler redefined the political speaker, helped create the science of propaganda and showed the unparalleled might of public spectacle in swaying the minds and heart of the populace.He should be on the the list of the 20th century's great artists his choreography, casting, set design and screenplay for World War II and the Holocaust were very original.................Hitler was a master at staging a really big show--the kind that millionaire rock stars now routinely offer their fans."
Martin Knelman Reporter the Toronto Star

“The highest art will be that which has been visibly shattered by the explosions of last week, which is forever trying to collect its limbs after yesterday's crash”.
German Dada manifesto


"It had been the great ambition of his [Hitler's] life to become an artist - an ambition which he sternly sacrificed to his conviction that he had a mission and that his political plans... would be the salvation of his country." Heinrich Hoffman, Hitler's photographer wrote in his memoir Hitler Was My Friend

“PK Dick believed that all political tyrannies were aspects of one cosmic oppressor: the Black Iron Prison a timeless archetype that he associated with the Roman Empire. Dick sometimes thought that history was an illusion and that the Nixon administration's dirty tricks only proved that ‘The Empire’ never ended. “

All the wars in history are created by the Black Iron Prison to further its power and control.”

After eating my fill I pulled out the drip, put my shirt on, and while still a bit dazed, made my way to the exit. No one said anything to me. It was as though I was a ghost, unseen by all. For a moment I imagined that I was a ghost and this was all just some cruel game. But my knees hurt, must have been where I fell over when I overdosed.

As I walked out the main entrance to the hospital, I saw a familiar face. It was someone that I had known quite well, but I couldn’t place him.

Later I would recall that it was a friend from school; I hadn’t seen him in years and barely recognised him. We had been close then, with similar goals, university a profession and adventure. Yet as we passed by it was clear to see the contrast in the two different paths we had travelled.

I had gone to university, but I never really adjusted. I started 5 degrees but only completed one. Feeling lost and uncertain I carried on developing the heroin habit I had acquired while still a naïve student, keen to experiment.

While Dorian Grey had studied law and was now a partner in a large law firm. I lived on the streets, and couched surfed (stayed with different friends), boarding houses, assorted hostels, and my parents homes. Meanwhile, Dorian studied hard, completed a dual degree in Arts/Law and all the while no-one knew about his secret, his passion.

Dorian was handsome of average height, with a slim physique, and impeccably dressed in the finest Italian suit, glistening shoes and clear lightly tanned complexion. While I was clad in a black stained t- shirt and cargo pants with thongs, my matted hair, obscuring my dark eyes and pallid complexion.

And now as we passed each other at the hospital it happened. I remembered why I was here. Was it a chink in the matrix,…………………ah mushrooms what intense experiences one can have. Dorian was a friend from my real life, and I recalled THE GAME and the challenge. I knew what I must do psilocybin……

“In the Amazon and other places where visionary plants are understood and used, you are conveyed into worlds that are appallingly different from ordinary reality. Their vividness cannot be stressed enough. They are more real than real, and that's something that you sense intuitively. They establish an ontological priority. They are more real than real, and once you get that under your belt and let it rattle around in your mind, then the compass of your life begins to spin and you realize that you are not looking in on the Other; the Other is looking in on you.”

Terence McKenna

I was the messiah sent to save and so I would. Or so I told myself.

The question was would I do it. I mean we all know what we should be doing right? But how many of us do it?

The earth that breaths, I recalled a trip driving through the country side picking gold tops in the fields and eating them whole. The trip came on quickly and powerfully and in no time I found myself seeing things very differently.

It was as if I had been transported into the future and everyone I knew was gone and past away and I was observing it. I felt terrified in a detached way, what had happened where were they, oh the despair. Then the landscape morphed into a technicolour cartoon like world.

"Because modern institutions depend on the transmission of a certain world view and then willing acquiescense in the truth of that world view by the populations into which it is being exported. In other words a kind of cultural brainwashing is necessary for modern cultures to work at all. The consequences of the acceptance of this situation of brainwashing is further acceleration toward catastrophe."

Terrence McKenna

I realised that everyone was just sexual, that this absurd dichotomy of hetero – homo sexual was such a joke. I could see through the bullshit but I could not tell anyone it was my secret knowledge.

You see I was Dorian and it was that simple, and what I was seeing was an aspect of myself. That self that had chosen a different path.

Physicists talk of the multiple worlds phenomena that every time we make a choice we create a new reality and a new stream of consciousness. Small changes can create vastly different outcomes. A butterfly flapping its wings on one side of the world can create a tidal wave on the other side.

Wandering out into the morning air I felt strangely euphoric I had survived again. I had wasted my money though, and I was pretty straight now. As I walked out into the street the sounds of life enveloped me, and I thought about my next hit.

The last words I heard were “Allah Akabar”, and they came from my own lips.

A burst of flame and a tremendous force knocked everyone in front of the hospital to the ground. Glass and debris were scattered as the force of the explosion devastated the front entrance to the hospital.

My ears were ringing and I could see people mouthing words but no sounds came out.

The carnage was horrendous. Pieces of flesh scattered across the ground, mutilated limbs and agonised screams echoed through the area as my hearing slowly returned. People moaned in pain as confusion and panic set in.

Off to my left I could see Dorian, it looked as though he was unconscious, the explosion had not caused any obvious damage to him, but he was still, lying face down legs akimbo.

I clutched at my abdomen I had caught some flying debris in the stomach and spurts of blood were shooting forth, I was bleeding profusely. The pain was excruciating I felt as though I was going to black out, and then I did.

All around us was chaos

All those years before in Saudi, the airport in Riyadh Osama, that missing time those lost moments and terrorist attacks, a mole waiting to strike.

John Howard was visiting the hospital that day he was killed instantly in the explosion that ripped through the outpatients/emergency area.


Chapter 8 - Memory Induction Complete





“If I eliminate everything, how will I exist?..........What happens if you drop all the things that make you I”

Graham Greene

April 20 2035


“Ok we have completed the new memory implant phase for Dave and he will now be ready to re-enter the game from the beginning “. Ignatius said in a confident manner.

“Now Neil, we need to ask Dave a few questions to test the memory implant”

“He will remain in a deep trance while we ask the questions and will have no conscious awareness of his surroundings”

Neil listened intently as Ignatius manipulated the control console.

“Ok Dave I am just wondering, who is Michelle?”

“Ah she was my girlfriend”

“Ah-huh”

“And where were you born?”

“Detroit USA.”

“Have you ever used heroin?”

“Yes, only a couple of times you, know not a fucking junkie or anything”

“When did you first meet Osama Bin Laden?”

“In Riyadh Saudi Arabia, 1984”

“Well done the memory induction has gone well you are now ready to begin the Game”

“The what ?”

"Dont worry Dave you will soon be back in your familiar environment, back to the smack, and shit, so just close your eyes and sleep well....".







Chapter 7 - Dreams, this is a game planet

"Passing through the plains of Lethe, all memories disappear and we begin tabla rasa, fresh new souls ready for the daimon to guide us”

“We elected the body, the parents, the place, and the circumstances that suited the soul….

“By preserving the myth we may better preserve ourselves and prosper.”

Plato, The Myth of Er, the Republic

March 13, 2035

I looked at the other people in Room 101. They were all dressed in identical orange jumpsuits.(camp x-ray style) The room was completely white, with numerous luscious pot plants, a waterfall, and a group of about 20 people listening to a man dressed in a mini skirt wearing stilettos and tight midriff top that left nothing to the imagination. When I say he was a man it was not obvious, his large hands were the only indicators, he was rather attractive.

“Now it’s important for everyone to realise that once you enter into the virtual world your fate is in your hands. You will not realise that you are in a THE GAME; you will be totally immersed in the experience. “

"This is a game planet."

William S Burroughs

“You will have no memories of your present life, but you will have memories implanted into your unconscious mind that will fit with the situation into which you are placed. You may at times experience overflow. This occurs when memories from your real life intrude into THE GAME world. This happens for most people but usually in a manner that is not significant de ja vu, etc.” , he had a rather high pitch nasally voice.

“You must also realise that being in The Game can be highly addictive and you will be required to sign a waiver to release The Corporation from any responsibility should you become addicted to the game or psychologically damaged”. People who became addicted would spend all their resources to enable them to stay in the game. They let their real lives go, friends, work and relationships were sacrificed in order to stay in the game.

The Game was addictive, and for this reason many people would not play, but preferred to sit back and watch the action. For those that did venture into the Game they experienced mixed results.

I wondered how I would handle it all, but quietly felt confident I would do well. I just wanted the introduction to finish so we could start THE GAME

“Contestants will wear a small headset that connects directly to their brain, thereby, completely bypassing an individual’s sensory system. It hijacks your nervous system by re-routeing it through a computer that generates a completely immersive virtual reality. So instead of your five senses receiving input from the environment around them, the stimuli are generated by the computer’s artificial environment. The computer is able to generate characters for the shows, and contestants may appear alone or with others. Special guest stars also make appearances on THE GAME. “

“Contestants can connect for extended periods of time with various life supports systems in place including the Kolto Tank which you will all be suspened in for the duration of your time in THE GAME which depending on how you go could be up to 6 months duration.”

“Although you will not be in any physical danger while on the program contestants may experience psychological distress. Particularly if you are killed, injured or otherwise traumatised in THE GAME”

“Let me remind you again that you will all be required to provide a retinal scan to acknowledge that you have read the waiver form. Global THE GAME Corporation Inc. will not be held liable for any mental disorders that contestants develop as a result of their experiences.”

“Occasionally it can cause a psychotic reaction, where you loose the ability to distinguish what is the THE GAME and what is your “real” life, you become partially aware of the artificial nature of your situation, this suspicion about your situation leads to despair and loss of ability to operate effectively in the game, it is called schizophrenia, we created it for the game. If this happens you may have to be pulled from the game, you may do this in a variety of ways that lead to death, or you may overcome it, which will add significant power to your character. “

“What you are about to listen to is the recording of one contestant experiencing overflow”

“Its all just a fuckin game it doesn’t matter what I do, I mean I fuckin killed myself so many fuckin times, yet here I am still kickin along, maybe I killed myself the first time and now I’m just a fuckin ghost and I haven’t figured it out yet, like the “Others” with Nicole Kidman, or the “Sixth Sense”, you know the one?”

“That sounds a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Its like a fucked up version of Groundhog Day,…….how many times can a man die.”

“I’m live while others die and I die while others live, though I cannot say why it is true that I still long to fly, far above the turbulence and into the stratosphere gliding ever higher……..”

“Its time for your medication Johny, be a good boy and take your tablets.”

“The drugs given to you in the game by psychiatrists will make it very hard for you to complete your mission, some recover but it is difficult. Furthermore, some people still have problems when they come out of the game, after having traumatic experiences in game, they have nightmares and exhibit symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. ‘

“When you are in THE GAME and you die you have two options. One is to start from the beginning the other is to play on and allow your character to re-manifest or re spawn. When this happens the system will intervene to create an event that will allow you to survive where you would otherwise have died.

“Contestants will not be aware of this change in events, although they may act surprised when they survive a particularly dangerous situation. This is done to ensure a smooth narrative flow. This can only be done 8 times however.”

I didn’t like starting from the beginning because it took so long to complete the series, I planned to save my progress on a regular basis and respawn.

“The winner will be the contestant who completes all the required tasks and receives the highest number of votes from the audience. The decision is final and there will be no appeals. “

“The program will be broadcast 24hrs a day and viewers will be able to enter THE GAME as spectators or contestants. There will also be special guest stars inserted into the games; these will include a variety of celebrities, sports stars, politicians and even simulated historical figures. In this game we will have special guests including Dave Groehl from the Foo Fighters, they were popular during the time this game was set, and Osama bin Laden the patsy for US aggression, a twenty first century Lee Harvey Oswald. “

“The thoughts that you have while immersed in THE GAME will have a direct impact on your experience of the world. For instances if you focus on certain things in your experience or consistently wish for certain experiences they will be manifest by you. Most contestants will take a while to become aware of this some never do.”

“For example if while driving in your car you stare at the back of someone’s head in another car, you will find that after a moment or two they will look directly at you. You try this while walking down the street or any other location you like. Or you might just be thinking about a friend and suddenly they call you, or might get this dream that you are going to win the Monster Showcase on the Price is Right, and you do.”

“Why does that happen?”

“Good question, “, just then we were interrupted by a group of Hare Krishnas Chanting outside.

“What were we talking about, ah never mind lets move, I don’t have time to answer all your questions”

“You will enter into a new world, and the THE GAME will start with you waking up. While you are in THE GAME you may experience sleeping difficulties, nausea, and lost time but these will dissipate once you adjust to the setting. “

“During the game you will recall that you read a book called the Dueling Machine by Ben Bova, he was late 20th century science fiction writer who foresaw the development of VR Gaming. This insight may appear as a dream or sudden recollection”.

“This will be a que for you to remember that you are in the game, some of you will understand this others will miss out, this insight brings with it a variety of advantages of course”

I walked over to the lift and waited for it to arrive. The doors of the elevator opened and I stepped inside. As the elevator rose smoothly upward, I cast my mind back over the events of the day. They were so wrong and I knew it, why couldn’t they see the light. My work mates laughed at my conspiracy theories and rejected my insights. I felt marginalised an outsider. I sneered at their ignorance and they in turn recoiled from my arrogance.

I knew that the Classic Michael Moore Film Shooting Baskets for Bagdad was just the tip of the iceberg, and the new scandal with President Schwarzenegger admitting he had given head to a young intern by the name of Billy Lewinsky.

Random fitness testing or RFT was now being used to deal with the obesity plague. Cops wait in shopping centres or on side streets hoping to catch the obese or unfit. People found to have unacceptable body fat levels are detained and taken to special fat-concentration camps, where their weight problem is corrected. The government finally realised that most illness were lifetstyle related and now the emphasis is on prevention, compulsory prevention. President Schwarzenegger was a key proponent of this process and legislated for the mandatory introduction of anabolic steroids into all school lunches.

I needed to escape the modern world, I wanted a real experience something beyond the cloistered environs of my current world. I had signed up to be a contestant on a new THE GAME series. I loved THE GAME and was excited about the prospect of being a contestant. I had been on a few other shows but so far he had not done well. But this one set on earth in the year 2000 was just my style.

The roman emperor, Jedi, messiah, bullshit was so fucking predictable and had been so overdone. Don’t get me wrong they still made great games but you know it lacked a certain authentic human aspect. The big studios had already utilised many classic books and movies as the base for the new stream of programs like THE GAME. The Bible, Gone with the Wind, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars had all been transformed into episodes of THE GAME. It was a massive revolution.

I wanted to be in a show that put the reality back in THE GAME. A show that would delve into the dark world of heroin addiction, and the horrendous state of male gender identity prior to the masculinist revolution. Its hard to imagine how different the world was, according to the strange sexual patterns of the early 21st century, many people living in 2035 would be consider totally obscene and in many cases criminal. We have come a long way since then, golden showers for golden retrievers, group sex for group executives, orgies for the oldies and anal fun for all.

Perhaps in the same way that people are fascinated by human pain and suffering as portrayed in Australia’s Funniest Home Video.

People think that VR is new idea but hey its been around for years. Even the Romans had VR. Romans were passionate about the theatre and they depicted stage sets that decorated their homes

The term "virtual reality" was created by Jaron Lanier in 1989. He was a pioneer in the field and developed some of the first systems. There have been plenty of books and movies that have covered this ground among them

The internet game second life is a good example of an online world, however it is not totally immersive (ie not VR) and participants realise that it is a game. However, if this concept was matched with technology that produces environments that are indistinguishable from 'real life' then we will be onto something.

Nick Bostrom from Oxford University wrote an article that discussed that idea that we are all living in a computer generated reality, read the paper here. While information at Simulism.org provides further detail on this idea.

Viewers can enter THE GAME as a spectator to watch the antics of the contestants from any perspective. All spectators can appear as people in the background scenes to the game. The audience is also fully aware of all the participants’ thoughts and feelings while they are in. THE GAME

Furthermore, audience can try to influence the thoughts and feelings of the contestants. In order to do this the spectator must be in THE GAME. Like ghosts in the real world contestants may become aware of them, and as contestant’s progress may come to believe that it is angels or god talking to them but it is just the audience.

When reality TV first emerged at the end of the twentieth century people were attracted by the simple things but as time progressed and more and more reality TV shows were released audiences became blasé about the whole genre.

"Society has a fascination with homeless people, people living on the streets. Almost a perverse fascination. People don't get a chance to see much of that. We thought it would be exciting to get a glimpse of that kind of life. Fights are part of homeless culture. It's a way for them to vent their anger. We're simply there to video it. "

The makers of the program

Programs like “Bumfight”, where released to stimulate flagging interest. Vagrants were incited to engage in brutal bare knuckle fights, outrageous stunts and other depravities. Then there was the Dutch reality TV program Shoot Up and Swallow, or Spuiten en Slikken that followed the exploits of a group of drug users. While in Australia they made a TV program about athletes taking steroids, tracking them over a period of weeks as they transformed their physiques.

While audiences were becoming bored with Reality TV, technology was advancing at a rapid rate and Virtual Reality came to the rescue. VR enabled producers to render an unlimited variety of environments and historical time frames.

Computer games were well established as an entertainment option, yet their full potential had not been realised. The 3 D Role playing games and online communities that had developed were the precursors of what was to come.

Massive leaps in technology allowed gaming to become the dominant form of entertainment. Just like movies with sound, superseded the silent features and colour made BW TV old hat, the combination of gaming, VR technology and Reality TV would take us to the next step. From passive observation to totally immersive participation, just like the Holo deck on Star Trek

“technology such as TV "gives us simulated realities that make us oblivious to the real world. Heroin does the same." Reality TV is at the forefront of this simulation. It creates the illusion that this is what life is about, and populates our consciousness with people for whom things will actually get better, simply because they are famous.”

“How could anyone want to sit and just watch 2 dimension images on a screen, how boring, gee I am glad I didn’t live in the old days dad”, my daughter after seeing a documentary on the history of THE GAME.

THE GAME freed producers from physical and budgetary restrictions. They could now create the most outlandish environments in THE GAME for a fraction of what a real set would cost. Furthermore, they were freed from the moral constraints about contestant safety and this opened the flood gates of creativity.

People could engage in a whole range of very dangerous activities that could expose them to serious injury or death in THE GAME, a recipe for compelling viewing.

Proponents of this new technology emphasised that it would lead to more authentic actions by participants because they would not be aware they were being watched. Early versions of reality TV lacked an authentic feel because participants knew they were being watched and performed for the cameras.

The premise for “Lets make a Dope Deal” was to get people addicted to heroin in THE GAME to see who can survive becoming a junkie all the way through to kicking the habit. Contestants are required to become addicted to heroin. The winner is the first one to become fully addicted and then to get off it.

However, it is important to remember that the contestants have no recollection of the aim of the program once they are in the game their reality is informed only by the memories that are implanted into their consciousness and the computer generated environments. The show is shot over a 6 month period and traces the addicts every step.

Contestants can exit the show in one way, which is by dying. This death can be caused by an infinite range of different events from OD, crime, etc or they may be voted off, and in such situations the producers will concoct a set of circumstances to create this death.

THE GAME is based on a bestselling book. It’s based on a book that was written in 2004 which was about the life of a young man struggling with his identity in the gender war of the time, who resorts to drugs to treat his confusion. So contestants are entering into a virtual world that is based on a novel written 30 years ago, about a future when people could play virtual reality games. This future has arrived and the producers of the GAME have based this episode on this book.

Men had come a long way since the dark ages of the early 21st century. Although women had reclaimed their humanity, men at this time were still closeted with the narrow confines of traditional masculinity. It was such a sad construct that brought untold misery to the men of the time.

They died younger, 90% of all prisoner where men, they engaged in ludicrous behaviour. But part of being a man was to never complain or show weakness an absurd idea, but still rampant in the male population. Women and children were worthy of assistance but men, well who wants to help them I mean they were the oppressors weren’t they? Or were they oppressed too? No one was quite sure at the time. I mean for God’s sake men were not allowed to where dresses, can you believe it. I mean women had been wearing men’s clothes for about 80 years at this time.

Society at the time was reeling under the impact of rampant ‘masculinism’. Because although most feminists would say they are standing up for the rights of women they also tend to emphasise the value of masculine traits over feminine ones. There is no doubt that feminism was a great advancement for society, but it also failed to address the pressing needs of the men in our society. The end result is that women are more masculine, men are still trying to be masculine and no one wants to look after the kids.

People were talking about cloning and growing children in test tubes to make fathers redundant, what a terrible affront.

The producers of “Let’s make a dope deal” take the characters and settings from the book and re-create them in THE GAME. The plot from the book becomes distorted by the free will of the participants. Although contestants are given memories that will lead to a certain world view they still have free will. Just as the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can cause a tidal wave so too small choices made by contestants lead to totally different outcomes.

In this weeks show we have Dave who is going to become a heroin addict and see if he can survive and kick the addiction or will he die?

As the game progresses contestants may find themselves remembering that they are in a virtual world (Little soul in the sun). At first it may seem as though they are gaining spiritual enlightenment, they may have instances of clairvoyance and telepathy and such like (de ja vu). Other people in their reality may even suggest that is what it is and they may also believe. But it is not, it is merely your conscious becoming aware again.

The experience can be very addictive and some gamers may spend all their time and resources in the virtual world. Often ending up with agencies like Smith and Jones.







 
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