Sunday, 1 July 2007

Chapter 20 - Trip to the Psychiatrist

“I feel that any form of so called psychotherapy is strongly contraindicated for addicts. The question "Why did you start using narcotics in the first place?" should never be asked. It is quite as irrelevant to treatment as it would be to ask a malarial patient why he went to a malarial area.
William S. Burroughs

May 1998

“I keep having these dreams where I am in this completely white room, and people keep asking me if I want to respawn, its like my dreams are my real life and this is just all bullshit.”

“Do you watch a lot B grade movies?”

“No, what are you talking about? “

“well its just that what you said sounded like a script from a B grade Sci Fi movie starring Rutger Hauer as the crazy scientist………………bla bah…”

“You know I thought you would listen to me show some empathy for me and I don’t know some sympathy or help…”

“Oh you did, well I am sorry to say that’s not what I do, I am a Psychiatrist and I prescribe drugs for help patients manage their mental health, if you want to have a fucking whinge go see a psychologist!”, white spittle had formed around his lips.

Anyway, lets move along shall we, how long have you been having these, ah dreams?”

“For a while now, they are pretty regular”

“What happens after you have a dream like this”

“I feel kind of confused, Iose motivation to do things, you know I start thinking well what’s the point if its all just a game you know”

“So you believe that the dreams are real?”

“Well kind of, I mean I know I am here with you now, I know who I am, but sometimes I hear voices and shit you know”

“What are they saying to you.”

“Lots of different things, telling me to do things, different voices, some of them are good and some are bad and some are just a bit of both, a kick and a kiss, you can never really be sure what you will get but shit it makes for good stories……..”

“Do you know what a delusion is?”

“but anyway I am getting off track, you see the only way I can really prove that it is a game, is if I keep pushing the limits and looking for the patterns, you, know dip into the valley of death… but also it means I can come back, I can be resurrected or respawn, I can create what ever I want if I can only focus, that’s it isn’t, thats all you have to do, so that’s all anyone who has done anything, has done, they have applied their focus to a point and created the outcome they desire."

“ It seems to me that you may be suffering from delusions, some I can give you some medication to treat this problem, you wont have anymore delusions once you take it”

“Yeh, what about side effects, that shit wont help, it'll just turn me into a bloody zombie, there is no way, ok”

“You realise that this is for your own good, don’t you, the delusions wont go away, why don’t you just try it, I have seen numerous patients experience vast improvements in their life and mental health.”

“Yeah, yeah pharmaceutical company bullshit, look, I am not going to take any drugs, I came here because I wanted to talk to about these experiences, I thought you would understand, anyway, …….”

“I think I understand, look the session is nearly over anyway, why don’t we leave there for today, and make a booking for a few weeks away, how does that sound?”

“Yeah ……………………”

If you are interested in the lies perpetuated by psychiatry see

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